Over the course of my adult life, many people have asked about my anxiety and been genuinely curious about what it is like.
So, for this post, I have decided to tell you my Anxiety story.
I have always been mildly anxious; even as a child. I remember many school holidays being worried that there was nothing to worry about; it felt like I had somehow overlooked something.
However, given that I was a child and my parents were inexperienced with mental health issues; we failed to recognize that this was the beginning of a debilitating condition.
Despite being mildly anxious as a child, I had never experienced the truly horrifying panic attacks until I was 18.
November 13, 2008, a day that will forever remain etched in my mind; this is the day that my friend took his own life.
I remember being numb for the funeral; I didn’t know what to feel – I was unprepared for this.
The real trouble came at around midnight after the funeral. I woke up in a horrifying panic, and I felt like I was going to die. I would later come to realize that this was my first panic attack.
How I am now
Since my first panic attack, my anxiety has never become less frightening.
I am now 27-years-old, and I am still fighting my illness as hard as ever. I’m agoraphobic; which makes working impossible.
As such, I am incredibly lucky enough that my federal government considers me disabled enough to qualify for disability payments. I am glad someone in power understands that mental illness can be crippling and life ruining.
How blogging has helped
While I am still battling my anxiety, I believe that blogging has helped me immensely.
Blogging has become a creative outlet for my disorder; I find that writing is therapeutic for me.
Also, through the blogging community, I have made a ton of new friends from all over the world; which is nice, as agoraphobia can be quite lonely.
I have accepted that I will likely have anxiety for life. I will have to keep battling; heck, I don’t even know if I will ever be able to hold down a “proper job.”
However, in the meantime, I will keep plugging away at this blog and see where it takes me.
Stay tuned to The Anxious Canadian, the future looks exciting.
I decided to include a couple of links for anxiety organizations in a few different countries.
If you are experiencing excessive anxious feelings or panic attacks, I urge you to speak to your physician. Anxiety is a treatable condition.
http://www.anxiety.org.nz/ (New Zealand)
https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/ (United Kingdom)
http://www.anxiety-usa.org/ ( The United States)
http://www.anxietycentre.com (The United States)